Wandering Mind Written Down

(start)   Imagine an individual who gets stronger and stronger the stinkier he or she gets…Main character realizes the less hygiene is practiced, the more physical abilities are obtained. Main character weighs the option of using newly found abilities to use for either good or evil. (end) This is the start of a new life and main character is ready for it.

I don’t know how it happened or when it happened, but one day I woke up with limited abilities such as levitation, extra strength and complete body energy blast…fortunately I’m able to take an ass kicking but after a while it does make me keel over in pain, cause, y’know, I can still die and stuff.  So I’m not truly invincible but in a sense, I have super strength and fly like those comic book superheroes and the only way I can maintain these limited abilities is simply by….umm…by, y’know….not…uhhhhhhh….not showering. Feel free to insert a nervous giggle here. LMAO!!!

Yes!!!!  I have to stink in order to get powers!!!  Don’t worry though, I still wipe myself after taking a dump.  Bad hygiene can make me somewhat powerful but shit, I have to at least carry some type of standards. LOL!!! 

In order to keep this ability going, I basically have to carry a fucken awful odor. 

The most embarrassing part is realizing how I ended up in this situation. Everything in my life had basically been status quo until one day I decided to just stay at home and not bother going outside.  If I was hungry, I would either cook or get something delivered – in the process I guess I didn’t see a reason to shower…I mean, I wasn’t leaving my “cave” so I really didn’t have anyone to impress.

To be honest, I have no idea how long I continued to live like that, all I know is that after a week (or maybe more) I decided to drive to the nearest convenience store to get some rocky road ice cream wearing sweats and sweater to contain my stench and before I even entered the store, some dumbass drunk driver swerved into the tiny parking area and ran into me.  Initially all I could see was heavy smoke coming from the truck’s engine and when it cleared the front end of it was badly damaged and I just stood there with a few scrapes and minor bleeding in my legs.  Overall, I felt ok.

The following months were all about trials and tribulations.  I found out the hard way that if I showered, those abilities became non-existent.  The more malodorous I let myself get, the stronger and slightly more powerful I became.  I still haven’t decided what I should use these abilities for though.  I could either be a lame “hero” and pretend to care about others…or…I could be a greedy son-of-a-bitch and rake lots of money cause fuck everyone!!! 

Who am I kidding though, the less people are aware of what I can do, the better it is for me.  I’m this weird stinky introvert that doesn’t want to seek attention and believe it or not, I do have a strong moral compass – I mean, I’m a parent and even if my kid is a full-fledged adult, I have an example to set.  In essence, I’m thinking of letting her know about these abilities because, in all seriousness, it’s still something dangerous and there may come a day that someone will find a stinky man wearing a mask lying motionless in the middle of some street.

Yes, I said “mask” and I may also be wearing some sort of protective gear just to play it safe – but no cape!!!  Eventually I’ll figure out what exactly I need to wear, so for now it’ll be just trial and error on what works and what doesn’t.  For now, jeans and a hoodie to conceal myself but I might need to reconsider the type of shoes I’m wearing too. Again, trial and error.

Well, damn, the sun is setting already which means it’s time to close this journal entry – don’t judge me, I have an ego and I can already picture this new life being a book series or something so I can profit from it. LMAO!!!  Time to put on this newly washed pair of jeans and hoodie sweater, because yes, even after one time usage my body odor can deeply penetrate my clothes.  Such is life!

Me to me, just enjoy this because nothing lasts forever!

…what are your thoughts?

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